You’ve learned to fear it. You’ve learned to avoid it. You’ve learned to numb yourself to it.
And you wonder why you don’t feel so alive. You’ve rejected your precious pain.
You pain, it not what you have mistaken it for. It is a gift. Your pain opens a door unto your heart, it reminds you you are not just a mental being. Your pain brings up your feelings from the depths of your being, calls forth the memories of hope and loss, and fills you with the urgency that is our fleeting life on earth. Your pain is a gift.
Most people spend their lives avoiding pain and chasing pleasure; and ephemeral quest that leads to shallow mediocrity. Pain is that which beckons you from comfort to face an unknown night….
I challenge you….
Find your pain…and bear that pain with you….be with it. Watch your pain transform into power.
I grew sick of the yes sir no sir. Of they ‘hey’ ‘hows it going’ ‘pretty good’ ‘see you laters’. Of the ‘yea, this about life was challenging’ but ‘Im moving through it’, ‘yea thats it’! ‘upward and onwards’….of the complete self delusion we all collectively participate in to prevent facing what we deep down really feel, and remembering who we really are…. because usually it makes us feel out of control.
And if there is one thing we fear deeply, its feeling out of control.
We would usually rather experience tremendous pain physically or even psychologically than risk losing our control blankets..…just our little shred of solid sand where we built our lopsided shack that we call our lives. This little miserable patch of earth is all we know!!! It must be protected all cost! Never mind the hurricane that is coming, never mind the fact that we are cold and lonely in our shack, never mind the fact that we once dreamt of a beautiful castle by the sea where we could share life’s joy with so many people…this one man shack becomes our place. And we stay there for years or even an entire lifetime.
So I just stepped out of mine, watched with mild interest as it was destroyed by the waves and then I began to wander the beach. I began to let my vocal chords do their own work; I began to allow words to boom out of me, less so to communicate to you and more so to amuse me. I began eating the different fruit along the shore just to see what each one tasted like. I began to experience this state of self amusement, as I surrendered to what is.
As I did this presence of joy entered my life….and it came in inverse proportion to the amounts of fucks i gave. You see you are the only source of true values at the end of the day and if you aren’t amused and proud of your life experience, nothing else matters. That’s right….people’s opinions of you, even god’s opinions of you are irrelevant, if you still are disatisfied within. But it takes balls to realize that, balls I realize most of you haven’t got yet. But you will. And when you do you will laugh bold laughter that will echo to the high heavens and you will run with a strength you didn’t know you had….along this sandy beach we have to enjoy, called earth.
You see, we have been sold a picture of reality that is quite depressing. The very sunglasses we are wearing are tinted dark. Our scientific explorers have told us that the universe functions according to a series of logical and immutable rules. Like the cogs of a giant machine, these rules govern the predictable course of time and space. Thus, science has arrived at ‘the truth’ as we now see it.
This knowledge and its supremacy has had an unintended side effect; beyond simply curtailing superstitious beliefs, it has actually suppressed imagination: it has dimmed our sense of possibility, our capacity to believe in dreams that may seem fantastic or more beautiful than the grey world we are told is our environment. It made us begin to believe, at a subconscious level, that power is outside of ourselves and that we are governed by the rules of the world around us. In fact, it has spread to all facets of who we, as a modern culture, conceive ourselves to be. After all, we become the stories we tell about ourselves.
Today, everything is governed by this thinking of external limits and rules. Economists established rules and tendencies to explain the rise and fall of productivity and profit, and refined this science. Meanwhile, what about the psychology of a human population, their level of collective vision that results in industriousness or hopelessness? In Italy, the economy continues to shrink quarter over quarter, but the numbers of this depression are not the cause but the result of something much deeper going on within the fabric of Italian society. How do we get to the roots?
The medical field has developed formulae and medicines to respond to symptoms, with the logic of a mechanic fixing a car. You have X problem, then the doctor applies Y drug or regimen. The tremendous aspect of a human’s will to live and their overall outlook on life is rarely considered, yet they are huge determinants in healing that can make the difference between recovery and illness given the same treatment. How do we get to the roots?
This scientific analysis was extended to psychology where it was assumed that chemical imbalances in the brain caused depression. Therefore, applying certain drugs was supposed to be a cure for these imbalances. What about looking deeply into that person’s psyche and having them do the self reflection and personal development needed to bring contentment and balance? How do we get to the roots?
Reality itself seems more fixed to the western mind than it really is. We look at the numbers in a suffering economy and think: boy it’s bad out there. We think to ourselves that jobs are hard to find. And yet many people who ignore all that just go out there and get themselves a job!
These ideas of ‘solidness’ even applies to our romantic lives. We think we are only so attractive (10 scale anyone?) and therefore define our possibilities with this idea of our own self worth. We begin to think that we are only valuable for certain aspects of ourselves….and we think we have to date ‘this sort of person’. We limit ourselves, and constrain our possibility. Who knows what wonderful people are out there and open to loving you?
All these thoughts weigh upon our sense of possibility; and over the years, the world becomes small. We walk the streets and focus only on our destination. Even if a wonderful person walks by, we leave no space for that chance magical encounter to occur or for that new friend to be made. We go to dinner and other than eating our dinner, we don’t see the chance to meet with a new business contact or a share a laugh between strangers. We go to school not realizing what new learning might open our minds, but rather simply to to get our degree to prepare us for our job.
This purpose driven world fails us because our sense of imagination has become too small. We can’t conceive of the power of possibility at work, we can’t imagine all of the limitless terrain we walk on. In fact, for many, this is terrifying, to think that our dreams might manifest at any moment. It is scary because once you know it is possible, you realize how afraid you are of having them realized. You are afraid that maybe your world is bursting with the possibility of wonder, and that it is YOUR responsibility to seize this opportunity or not. In some ways, it is easier on the mind to think the world is grey and mechanical than to try to wrap our heads around limitless potential.
I encourage you to study quantum physics, because this new branch of scientific inquiry is beginning to reveal that the world is not the cold mechanical beast we once thought, but rather an ocean of possibilities, fluctuating in harmony as the sum total of everyone’s psychological inputs govern the field. You and the other 7 billion humans here are creating reality itself! It is directly affected by what we think about; how life is for us is largely our creation.
This new worldview takes hold, and we begin to conceive of the possibility that your life is a conversation you are having with the universe, and that the universe is very actively listening to and responding to your thoughts, feelings, and intentions. Then, as you pay more and more attention to what you are putting out there, you notice that the external world mirrors the changes going on within you. This is the basis of the Law of Attraction and much New Age thought, but gradually we are understanding there is a scientific basis for these philosophies that we are just now uncovering.
As this truth sinks in, you will realize the immense power and responsibility you have; because you are creating your life a new every day! What doors will you open? What people will you attract? What glory awaits us?
For one of the first times in modern history, one’s career and life activity are no longer subject to a societal mandate, family tradition, or religious obligation. Your life can be built in the vision of what you desire to experience, according to your free will. You are, for all intents and purposes, free. The limits to your imagination are your only handicap.
Many today however still feel bound by invisible walls that keep the possibilities for their lives within narrow confines. This is because they have been sabotaged at a basic level of imagination; western society has destroyed the mythopoetic imagination in the adult mind. A hyper-rationalism has taken hold of western thought and discourse. The possibilities for the mythic, heroic, or heavenly worlds to be created have been blocked by the daunting power of ‘consensus reality’. When people talk about, going into the ‘real world’, getting a job, and settling down, it is this reality they speak of. Thus, even though we are free, most people will still only look at their life in terms of career choice, mate choice and family creation, travel, and retirement. Deeper, more exciting possibilities like those portrayed in our favorite books and films seem ‘unrealistic’ and therefore ‘impossible’ to the western rational mind.
For this reason also, a great many people are bored. They have directed their limitless power of thought and attention toward the basics of modern life where they worry about perceived status(looking good via consumption and social affiliations), money and security about money, controlling unknowns, day to day logistics etc. They have thus chained themselves to consensus reality we detest by investing heavily in it.
Look at children. Are they bored?
With the exception of long car rides, I would say no, they are not.
They are engaged in creative play with life. They are not concerned about money. They are not concerned about their image, because make believe is constrained by fixating on one’s image. They don’t try to control unknowns, they curiously engage them.As children play make believe, they try on a great number of identities and characters, acting out the thinking, personalities, emotions, and mannerisms of a great number of identities. They step into the character fully! They don’t think to themselves, ‘Oh I look so silly right now.’ No! They are absorbed in being!
Only adults commit the mistake of identifying themselves with a single character, usually one they dislike, one that is safe and boring.
What would the world be like if adults played like children? How might they rediscover creative play on a massive scale? Answers are coming…
New age philsophy teaches ideas like ‘go with the flow’…and they have their place and time. It is true that your higher intelligence will direct you in your life, and that if you listen to these intuitive knowings, things will be easier for you. However, many of us get the notion that doing the right thing should feel easy.
Things don’t always flow with you when you are doing the right thing. Sometimes, it takes everything you have to make the right choice, go against the grain, and do what you need to do. When everything in you wants one more piece of cake, one more nap, one more round of TV shows…..that’s when you can make some of the most powerful choices…and its not easy.
You know why it’s not easy? Because despite your best intentions, your choices of growing up as a human being have created these patterns of behavior in you. They LITERALLY create neural nets in your brain that fire over and over the more you repeat a behavior. Eventually, these behavior sequences are almost automatic. So when you want to start a new habit or break an old one, you have to REWIRE your brain, which means overwriting the old part.
You who live in death,
Oh ye walking carcasses,
Cling to the inverted cross,
And sing hymns to your hollow screens,
You need your coffee to stay awake, don’t you?
You need pornography to express your sexuality?
You need your little television programs to feel in touch with myth and meaning?
Only because your lives are so devoid of meaning do you crave such things.
I drink from the cup of legend to quench my thirst that could not be quelled by the lives of this generation. Therefore I look to the stars for the signs of the ancient and the prophecies of the new as my feet tolerate the concrete on which I stand.
This circus is grey once you realize the majority of life is a concern for personal survival, social acceptance, and the construction of an officially approved identity for you to feel safe and successful in while you walk around in your nice clothes and drive your nice cars and think your simple sentiments. Go on. Lie to yourself and say this is the best life you could live. Any forest animal is more alive with honest emotion than you hollowed sacks of flesh.
As for me I need no approval for my identity; I am too far beyond your constructs for your opinions of me to mean anything. Your opinions of me only cast a reflection on to your own lives. I am like a mirror; what does my flashing in the darkness do to you? Do you see the beauty of the possibility of the new? Do you see the threat to your old way of life and seek to mar my image? Either way, your opinions double back in on you.
Who am I? A soul that wields power in councils hidden, that hunts for vampires in the urban jungles, that sings songs in languages that predate the dawn of the human race. I have traveled the cosmos and exalted in revelry in ways your wealthy elites and rap stars couldn’t imagine. I have fought and bled so that entire star systems might go on living. I have made mistakes so utterly horrific that they are a part of why this world is in this condition. Do not speak to me as you would to a young man. I am simply an ancient carrying his burdens and winding the spiral staircase dragging his human skin with him.
The more we deny creative responsibility for our lives, the more blah we get. If we are not intentionally taking steps to create the life we want, or at least figure out what we want, it is our fault.
There is a spiritual blindness that results from shunning this responsibility, as we start to think that our fulfillment should come from outside ourselves, and it makes it easy to blame out work, friends, and family for what we refuse to handle within.
The more you are unwilling to be with yourself and your feelings through honest self inquiry, the more room that the parasites of humanity have room to direct our lives towards entanglement, pain, and lower vibration.
Therefore, one must elevate, through conscious choice, above the frantic activity, habitual patterns we use to avoid facing ourselves and what is really running our lives.
Most often, when we are able to be still with ourselves, we see our fears, cloaked in a number of disguises as they run us through the maze. They come disguised in many forms…..lies that tell us that sacrificing our true selves to be accepted and nice is our way of ‘loving others’, or that being ‘good’ means giving up the life we want, or that being small and docile is a necessary method of self preservation in the world. This fear drives this abandonment of our true selves; it continues the denial of our deepest instincts and feelings. It festers over time, and eventually gives rise to a feeling of immense inner poverty, since we are spending so much of our energy trying to deny our buried dreams and deepest pains from ourselves. We don’t want to feel the gut wrenching pain of having traded our one true life in exchange for an acting role in a softcore nightmare. It is the numb, habitual pursuit of shallow pleasures and personal validation that drives our materialistic consumer culture onward towards the cliff. It is our refusal to seek self knowledge that spurs us on, our collective agreement not to confront ourselves.
Eventually, you run out of rope.
The endless parade of entertainment, food, and scripted social experiences lose their taste over time, and become bland and routine. Every new restaurant we try, every new movie we see, every new social gathering we attend begins to carry the taint of something deeply unsatisfactory. A sense of discomfort begins growing deep down as we begin to sense that we don’t know what we are doing anymore, or who we really are. This growing inner darkness makes a mockery of all our attempts to find happiness.
We are then faced with a choice: Face the self you have buried, or go deeper into the pain and confusion.
It is hard to recognize this while you are in the grips of it, especially if you are surrounded by others who also support this collective masquerade from who we really are.
And who are we?
We are are nothing less than the beautiful warped lights of the heavens, seen through the dark lenses of the broken world. We are the sons and daughters of god living out a million strands of the tapestry that for moments opens into vistas of the kingdom of heaven before plunging us back down into the darkness. This momentary experience of elation leaves us pining for more, yet also afraid of what is asked of us to get there permanently. Heaven on earth is beyond what the rational mind can understand; it is beyond our ability to control; it is received, not taken. This beautiful surrender to the unknown is very frightening to the egoic monkey mind; because it seems like death.
Think of it.
The prospect that you might become filled with life and passion and that your life might suddenly have real meaning and that YOU might matter is a frightening prospect. It is enough to send many among us reeling back with a bag of snack food to a screen to numb ourselves to the raw power of feeling freedom and the potential for real love and real pain. The ego rebels, NOOOO!!!! Take me back to the familiar!
And yet this voice within is the false self, the monkey mind, that enemy, the accuser: this is SATAN himself, who seeks to hold us back from evolution and the Kingdom of Heaven, and keep us trapped in the familiar pains and stories we know.
Dealing with this fear monger is your responsibility and your power, since you let him in in the first place. Therefore, you have the power to take back your life from its grip by embracing your true soul. Live the life you have come to live, because there is no path for you but your own.
Yet oh how we love to stray from it! How we love to keep at least one foot on paths that are not our own! We do this for the safety and familiarity of society’s approval, as we look to others for reassurance. We do this because the prospects of loneliness are crushing to our soft feelings; yet oh how it opens the heart! How our loss of the security blankets causes us to fall trembling on to the mat before god, and gives us appreciation for the least of our brothers and sisters.
Therefore, this void is the birth of your true life. Sit with yourself and all your uneasiness, pains, and fears. Sit beneath the good tree and under the stars, and dig in your backyard, with eagerness and curiosity. There is nowhere else to go. Nothing else to do but this.
Do not think me good or evil, lest you miss the point. I am a force of a nature, a denizen of the periodic table, and I have my benefit and I have my price.
Would you call the bees of the field good? They may attack the bystander near their home. Would you cal them evil? They do the work of nature that sustains us all.
Would you call the corporations evil? They mass produce the goods and services that enable your easy life. Would you call them good? Many focus on their profit as their measure, with disregard for their labor and their impact on the environment.
All of humanity must learn to see in color now, done with the black and white, foe or friend mentality of infancy.
I have given much thought to the birthing of the Gods, that divine essence within us that is beyond the grips of the animal nature, that is beyond the conscious human personality. This is why I am here in this remote island…this has been my quest for countless years. I know within me dwells a force of unfathomable depth and power, and my identification as ‘Alex’ is only half of my story…and as I go through this so can you all see a part of yourself going through it.
It is this being that I am preparing to birth, he who rubs his claws on the walls of the sky, leader of armies of light, midwife of heroes….Rising at 5:30 AM…this is not for Alex-it is for birthing HIM, by bringing forth that within me that is eternal, that which is unphased by a little cold water in the mornings.
I have guided you here, Alex. I have led you to the others. I have planted the seeds of the vision in your heart, and orchestrated countless events to build your faith in it. If you fear your own emotions, you fear your own life’s becoming. As you seek control, you lock yourself out of your own home.
Behold, you know the wondrous path beneath your feet. Yes, calmly step. Your eyes will adjust, and soon you will be able to see the way ahead.
The sacred fire will be invested into you. The children of light will rally and homecoming will beckon all from darkness. Much pain in your body and heart will yet move. Be held. Allow space to be held as you enter the egg of becoming. Soon I will no longer be separate from you, but you will see my mind has become yours. We shall enter into the world again, cloaked from those still shrouded by fear.
What can you not achieve?
What can you not Learn?
All is done before it is begun. Therefore, fix your gaze on the egg.
At first assessment, passion and joy stand out as each human’s birthright, God given potential. Those living without these are not really alive…and what we need now is not so much people who are ‘good’ in the conventional moralistic sense, but people who are TRULY, BRIGHTLY ALIVE. I’ve seen prostitutes and drug dealers with more light than many religious people. People who are ALIVE have stronger passion and ambition than fear, and this causes them to effect others and overcome the mental walls of isolation which are imposed on us in the modern age.
The Revolution is, in accordance with the incoming age of Aquarius, the water bearer, the pouring out of the waters of consciousness, AKA the dissolving of the prior boundaries, the ending of the separation.
This world oppresses us with the feeling of our separateness…different political parties, religions, races, nationalities, income brackets…but we are all human and have the same basic needs and drives at the end of the day: We want to not have to fear for our physical survival, enjoy our time here on the planet, and belong to a larger group that we relate to and that accepts us, while striving to achieve our individual potential.
It’s pretty simple.
The revolution is about taking power to create the reality we truly want. We take this power not from others, but from our own limited beliefs that we learned from our families, friends, and dysfunctional society while growing up, through realizing that WE CREATE OUR OWN REALITY. There is no instrinsic ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, just consequences for all of our actions, ripples that we must take responsibility for…and while most condemn external physical violence, we commit wanton violence to our own spirits through our negative self talk, beliefs of unworthiness and shame, and we commit murder against our own deepest and brightest dreams…this inner violence must cease for outer transformation to occur.
This revolution cannot and will not be achieved by desperate battlecries, and no amount of urgent, anxiety ridden calls to action to ‘save the planet’ can rally a joyless people. I have tried to cajole, inflame, cite statistics, point to corruption to spur action, but while these are relevant, they are insufficient to spark the next leap of human evolution.
See, most of us are comfortable, and without a clear and visible threat to our ability to live and self sustain, people don’t feel the need to disturb their present equilibrium. Material survival and a few trivial pleasures is enough to keep most of the population satisfied and docile.
Only the inspired power of love and connectedness, the joy of true self actualization, can spur people up the ladder of development to being co-creators of inspired realities. The revolution is well under way.